Thursday, July 19, 2012

Checking in

(note: i wrote this on my phone so the formatting may be a bit funky)

We've been in Wisconsin for just over a week now, finally rejoining Paul after three and a half weeks of separation while he got his feet wet as an intern at St. Luke's Aurora Medical Center. The kids and I stayed behind at my parents house in Oregon (a post on that is yet to come) so we were thrilled to finally arrive at our new home. So far, so good. Plenty of awesome thunderstorms, lots of using the GPS, and loads of house hunting. We are renting currently, and after owning our home in Lubbock we are hoping to buy again. Paul has been working nights all week which means that after sleeping all morning, his afternoons are open to hunt around with me. So far, no luck but I am hopeful we will find something soon. And I hope the Internet people come soon to hook us up. It's crazy to realize how much you depend upon it when you don't have it.

I am by no means sad to be living here - both my sister and Paul's brother are relatively close, the people here seem friendly, and I have always been one who enjoys and anticipates change. But leaving Lubbock has truly been hard for me. I find myself checking in on Facebook far more than I ever did before, actually staying current on reading others' blogs, and longing to call old friends and catch up. I know I'll make friends here and am excited to do so. But Lubbock will always be a special place for me. A place where I made some incredible friendships, a place where I began to develop into the type of mother I want to be, the place where I received that vision. I feel like I became an adult in Lubbock. I finally stopped feeling the 'youngest sibling complex' where I felt like I had to catch up with my sisters. I understand better what I personally have to offer the world as I have seen the affect I have had on others and that they have had on me. I achieved a new level of confidence in myself. I feel empowered that I can make any city as magical and special as Lubbock is to me. I grew so much there.

And for some reason, the people in Lubbock are especially nice, amazing, friendly, and spectacular. I found numerous friends willing to go to the park at the drop of a hat, ladies who love the same movies, books, and tv that I do, friends who will talk til 2 am, and even a friend who knits, bakes bread and clogs like I do! (except she is FAR better than I) Certainly there were women with whom I had less in common, but there was something about Lubbock that it didn't matter. We were friends anyway because we were both on the adventure of living in Lubbock. I never would have expected, when pulling into town for the first time four years ago, that I would come to love it so much - dust, wind, flat terrain excluded.

So leaving is hard. My friends there are amazing. Hattie always prays for our friends in Texas and asks when we'll be able to visit. Anna still expects to see her friend Lilly at church every week. All these things make being gone difficult. And although I'm not depressed or lonely, I am saddened to know that my friends still gather for play group and book club and presidency meetings and I'm not able to be a part of it.

I hope that you all have a place that means as much to you as much as Lubbock means to me.


LadyCarma said...

Isn't life such an adventure? The children are growing so fast and are so cute. I think your baby boy is a miniature version of Paul. I have done that twice: grown to love a place so much and then move away from it. I know those yearnings. I know the closeness that you feel. The great thing is your heart can expand to include the wonderful people you will meet in your new area. Because of who you are, it won't take long. Thanks for the post.

Cox Family said...

We miss you too! I thought you guys had found a house already? I guess it didn't work out, keep us posted.

Nancy and Spencer said...

This post reminded me how much i love you, Mel!

Kara Pothier said...

Moving is hard- We shared the same sentiments when we left Milwaukee, it must be the stage of life that makes it so special! Funny how that works. Hope you guys find a place soon - temporary living is never ideal. Hopefully it's just temporary!

Melanie said...

I miss ya! I've been following your blog more and Josie looks like an angel! Girls are such fun! FYI I am heading to south bend Indiana for the byu vs notre dame game in October, just in case you guys are heading up there!

sam and brittney said...

Lubbock is not the same without you! We miss you guys!